In a moment of inspiration, have you thought of a great idea for getting back together with your ex? You have thought long and hard and you know exactly what you need to do to win your ex back. It all makes sense to you. You have the perfect plan and you can see it all unfolding before you. Before you follow through with this plan, understand that most of us come to the same conclusion and think of the same solutions for how to get back together with our ex after a breakup. Chances are that you're not as clever and unique as you might think.
If any of these plans sound familiar then you are perfectly normal. This doesn't mean that any of these methods will help you to find success in getting back together with the one you love but there is hope. We all have to go through stages after a breakup. The stage that you are in presently was visited by many. We all come out the other side of this process better, stronger and, if we are wise, we are able to get back together with the one we love. We all get that opportunity. It's simply a matter of when and what you wish to do with that opportunity.
The most popular plan that most of us come up with in our mind after a breakup is the thought that we should talk to our ex. If we could only sit down and talk through all the problems in the relationship then everything would be find. If there is a problem then there is a solution, right? Talking through your problems is also what therapy is all about and this is what the professional suggest so this must be the way to reuniting with your ex.
This plan may not work out the way that you envision though. While your ex might agree to meet with you and talk with you, your motives are different. Your ex might agree to talk with you but only to give you closure or to further explain why they are done with the relationship. You, on the other hand, want to get back together. Until your ex has a desire to be with you, all the talking in the world is only wasted breath. Communication is important in a relationship but your ex has ended the relationship, at least the romantic portion of the relationship. Don't mistake your ex being kind or tolerating you in their life is an opportunity. You very well may find that they lose their patience and completely stop communicating with you.
Making changes in your life or promising to change the things that your ex complained about when they left you is another common solution that we all come up with. We feel that if our ex has given us reasons why they are leaving then we must simply change what they complained about and they will be happy with us again. We could all use some change in our life and we can see the logic behind why our ex left so we decide to take our ex's words to heart.
The real reason why your ex left probably has nothing to do with the reasons that they gave you. Your bad habits or areas in your life where you may be found lacking are simply an excuse. Their complaints about you are simply a smoke screen that hides the true reason which is probably a lack of respect or a shift in the power dynamic in your relationship. Offering to change only further shifts the power and makes you appear weak and needy. Any changes that you make or offer to make will also be tainted with what your ex perceives as a desire to do anything to get them back. This will boost your ex's ego and lower your value as a romantic partner and you will be rejected again.
Certainly, if you were the perfect partner and you were to be thoughtful and kind to your ex then they would see that you really loved them. The idea of buying your ex gifts or writing thoughtful emails, letters, cards or poetry is another great idea. You might even think that by performing some wonderfully romantic gesture such as sending your ex flowers or publicly displaying your love for your ex will get their attention. You might believe that your ex does still love you and they simply need to have their heart strings plucked in order to be reminded. This scenario is often played out in romantic movies so this surely must be the way back into your ex's heart.
Trying too hard and trying to be perfect is again perceived as being desperate and needy. Your ex loved you at one time because of who you were. They accepted you with all your imperfections and flaws. You don't have to be perfect for someone to love you. You simply have to be yourself. Save the grand displays of affection and devotion for the day when you know for sure that you have your ex back in your life. Save your money and avoid the heartache by holding onto those feelings and those clever ideas. There will be a day when your ex will appreciate your thoughtfulness and they will consider themselves lucky to have someone love them so much. Until your ex feels that love for you again, any attempt to force your love on them is going to be taken as an attempt to manipulate them.
If you have noticed, there is an underlying theme necessary for your success in getting back together with your ex. Your ex is only going to get back together with you once they feel a desire to do so. Once your ex feels love for you again, getting them back will be simple. It won't require any grand gestures on your part and you won't have to say a single word. Yes, there is still love in your ex's heart for you but pushing the issue or trying to convince your ex that their decision was wrong isn't going to nurture that love.
Only understanding and time will allow your ex to realize that they still love you. You are actually better off doing absolutely nothing than pursuing your ex at this point. Emotions and love are very fickle and they can change very quickly. Your ex might say that they don't love you anymore or they could even deny that they ever loved you but tomorrow they very well might feel differently. This is human nature and even the most logical person is subject to this emotional swing when it comes to love. Be patient and wait for your opportunity to arrive. Have your life in order and be strong as you wait for things to change before you consider doing anything to try to get your ex back.
If any of these plans sound familiar then you are perfectly normal. This doesn't mean that any of these methods will help you to find success in getting back together with the one you love but there is hope. We all have to go through stages after a breakup. The stage that you are in presently was visited by many. We all come out the other side of this process better, stronger and, if we are wise, we are able to get back together with the one we love. We all get that opportunity. It's simply a matter of when and what you wish to do with that opportunity.
The most popular plan that most of us come up with in our mind after a breakup is the thought that we should talk to our ex. If we could only sit down and talk through all the problems in the relationship then everything would be find. If there is a problem then there is a solution, right? Talking through your problems is also what therapy is all about and this is what the professional suggest so this must be the way to reuniting with your ex.
This plan may not work out the way that you envision though. While your ex might agree to meet with you and talk with you, your motives are different. Your ex might agree to talk with you but only to give you closure or to further explain why they are done with the relationship. You, on the other hand, want to get back together. Until your ex has a desire to be with you, all the talking in the world is only wasted breath. Communication is important in a relationship but your ex has ended the relationship, at least the romantic portion of the relationship. Don't mistake your ex being kind or tolerating you in their life is an opportunity. You very well may find that they lose their patience and completely stop communicating with you.
Making changes in your life or promising to change the things that your ex complained about when they left you is another common solution that we all come up with. We feel that if our ex has given us reasons why they are leaving then we must simply change what they complained about and they will be happy with us again. We could all use some change in our life and we can see the logic behind why our ex left so we decide to take our ex's words to heart.
The real reason why your ex left probably has nothing to do with the reasons that they gave you. Your bad habits or areas in your life where you may be found lacking are simply an excuse. Their complaints about you are simply a smoke screen that hides the true reason which is probably a lack of respect or a shift in the power dynamic in your relationship. Offering to change only further shifts the power and makes you appear weak and needy. Any changes that you make or offer to make will also be tainted with what your ex perceives as a desire to do anything to get them back. This will boost your ex's ego and lower your value as a romantic partner and you will be rejected again.
Certainly, if you were the perfect partner and you were to be thoughtful and kind to your ex then they would see that you really loved them. The idea of buying your ex gifts or writing thoughtful emails, letters, cards or poetry is another great idea. You might even think that by performing some wonderfully romantic gesture such as sending your ex flowers or publicly displaying your love for your ex will get their attention. You might believe that your ex does still love you and they simply need to have their heart strings plucked in order to be reminded. This scenario is often played out in romantic movies so this surely must be the way back into your ex's heart.
Trying too hard and trying to be perfect is again perceived as being desperate and needy. Your ex loved you at one time because of who you were. They accepted you with all your imperfections and flaws. You don't have to be perfect for someone to love you. You simply have to be yourself. Save the grand displays of affection and devotion for the day when you know for sure that you have your ex back in your life. Save your money and avoid the heartache by holding onto those feelings and those clever ideas. There will be a day when your ex will appreciate your thoughtfulness and they will consider themselves lucky to have someone love them so much. Until your ex feels that love for you again, any attempt to force your love on them is going to be taken as an attempt to manipulate them.
If you have noticed, there is an underlying theme necessary for your success in getting back together with your ex. Your ex is only going to get back together with you once they feel a desire to do so. Once your ex feels love for you again, getting them back will be simple. It won't require any grand gestures on your part and you won't have to say a single word. Yes, there is still love in your ex's heart for you but pushing the issue or trying to convince your ex that their decision was wrong isn't going to nurture that love.
Only understanding and time will allow your ex to realize that they still love you. You are actually better off doing absolutely nothing than pursuing your ex at this point. Emotions and love are very fickle and they can change very quickly. Your ex might say that they don't love you anymore or they could even deny that they ever loved you but tomorrow they very well might feel differently. This is human nature and even the most logical person is subject to this emotional swing when it comes to love. Be patient and wait for your opportunity to arrive. Have your life in order and be strong as you wait for things to change before you consider doing anything to try to get your ex back.
About the Author:
Visit http://text-your-ex-back.highclassproducts.org/ to learn more about methods proven to help you to win your love back. Learn why your ex left and what you can do to bring them back.
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