Sunday, January 5, 2014

Dealing With Your Emotions After Your Breakup

By Fred McDowell


For most of us guys, common sense goes right out the window after a breakup. We will try anything and everything to show the woman we love how important she is to us but what do you do when it seems like she doesn't care at all? While you might love your ex girlfriend or your wife with all your heart, it seems nothing is going to sway her decision and bring her back to you. You wind up feeling like you're doing everything wrong. You're anxious and scared to death that this truly is the end of your relationship unless you can figure her out and convince her that your relationship is worth saving.

Getting past that pain and those emotions just isn't as easy as people might lead you to believe. You want to get past the pain. You want to begin to live your life again but it seems that no matter what you do you're faced with these emotions day in and day out. Sure, you might have a good day or two but when you least expect it, those feelings come to the surface again and you feel like you're right back where you were before.

Dealing with your emotions over your breakup is very important. Regaining your feeling of self worth and your own self-confidence is necessary for you to function as a normal human being again. Ah, to feel normal again! Wouldn't that be awesome? It will happen for you. You need to know this no matter if you want to move past your relationship or if you hope to get back together with your ex. Getting rid of those feelings that harm us and replacing them with emotions that help you is a necessary step in your healing process and becoming the kind of person that you were before your breakup.

Being nice to her, buying her gifts and doing things for her isn't going to win her back either. Bribery just makes things awkward. Even emotional bribery such as telling her that you care about her, that you love her or even checking on her only serve to make her feel uncomfortable.

If she needs your help or wants to enjoy your company, she will call you. In a healthy relationship there is equal give and take. Gifts given now will only make her angry thinking about how you didn't give her gifts when you were together. Thoughtful phone calls to check on her will remind her of the times that you neglected her. Telling her that you love her will be too little too late and having to hear that awkward silence isn't going to help your male ego at all.

Loving yourself, accepting yourself as you are is important. In this life there are going to be times when you will be alone. You have to be your own best friend.

Next, remember that actions mean everything and words mean almost nothing to a woman. You can talk all day long about what you're going to do with your life. She will be filled with doubt and be telling herself that it will never happen. On the other hand, improving yourself in various areas of your life such as your physique, eating habits, appearance, social status or career without talking about it, speaks volumes. Do something great with your life that you always dreamed of and then let her find out about it. Actions speak louder than words to a woman.

Remember that your ex girlfriend or your wife was your best friend at one point in your life. They were and are someone special that you picked out of all the women in the world. Treat her with respect but be willing to fight for your relationship. You wouldn't turn your back on a best friend. Don't give up on your girlfriend or your wife. Women value loyalty. It might require that you be a little devious or clever in your tactics but if she was in love with you before it is absolutely possible for her to fall in love with you again. The decision is yours to make but if your wife or your girlfriend was your best friend in the world, don't you think that a little patience and understanding what she needs to feel to fall in love again is in order?




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